Break Down

Honestly right now I'm at the point where I'm almost collapse. Emotionally. 

So I'd move to Jakarta since two months ago started from April and honestly it wasn't really a pleasant journey to be told .  There's so many things that I've been thru, so many little things that I'm afraid of and I need to accept and I need to keep it to myself where I'm at the point also I couldn't even take it anymore. People might see as I'm just  struggling with a culture shock it takes times to really adapt to indonesia, things will get better as times go by and I do believe so, because after all you just need to get used to it. But deeply I know no I wasn't just it. It's not only the culture shock but the feeling of security. I'm not satisfied this and that I'm not happy this and that. I kept telling me I just need to come back to Taiwan as soon as possible to keep myself back together. Hopefully. 

Even if I'm not sure what is it gonna be like to be coming back home to Taiwan after two heavy and crazy months and now me myself is definitely not as complete as I used to be but if anything, I'm still get to come home to the place, to the people that I'm familiar with, to the people that I love, my family, my everything and that is what really kept me going thru this two months. 

I couldn't really describe what is my deepest fear and my deepest problem now because I'm not even sure what it really is. And yet this is not even the scariest part. I'm now facing another problem what makes me really really about to collapse. No, I'm collapsing now. Literally. 

As soon as I reach Taiwan, I met my friend as they came to the airport to picked me up and im overwhelmed but Just right at the moment I know there's something wrong. It's not them, maybe its me. Maybe I'm alil different now and maybe It's just the two months that I'm away life goes on it's not much but things has changed and that is the scariest part. 

Things has slightly changes... It's not you don't know it's not you are unfamiliar, it's just different.